Blink and Mush Save The Day
by ShitteryGitUp
Summary: Blink and Mush find a girl and bring her to the Newsies Lodging House. It's really funny.


**Blink and Mush Save The Day**

**Writer:** ShitteryGitUp

**Pairings**: Apple and Orange

**Disclaimer:** Um... :really noivis: I don't own any of the newsies... I wish :giggle:

**Distribution:**Take it, if you must... but let me know it's going somewhere.

**Author's Notes:** This story is a huge joke! I've read a lot of fan fiction, and have found mostly bad ones. I've read a couple of goods ones, but the rest suck. So, I created Blink and Mush Save The Day as a spoof for all of the bad fan fictions out there. If you find a little bit of your story in here, good. That's what I wrote it. Maybe now you'll get yourself a beta reader and rewrite your story so I can read something good. And look at the end, you'll find things that really irritate me about some fan fictions. (As if you care, most of you are probably going to be sending me flames by the time you finish.) Please send flames... the more the merrier.. just as long as you get yourself a beta reader.

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It was raining and storming out as Mush and Kid Blink made their way back to the Newsboys Lodge. They had no idea where they were coming back from, probably selling papes, they had no time to do anything else. Except Tibby's to eat everyday for lunch... but they didn't have any money, so they just kinda lookeda the food. It was fun!

"Hey! Hey! Blink!" Mush tapped Blink on the shoulder annoyingly. "Whuddya suppose dat is?"

"What? Ya mean that large lump of clothes and mud lying over dere in da middle of tha ally?" Blink pointed.

"Ya! Dat one. Let's go and see if it's a raped and beaten goil!" Mush said excitedly. He liked to save raped and beaten girls. It was his forte.

"Then maybe we can bring her to da lodge. Kloppman won't mind. And if he does," Blink ran after Mush. **"We'll SOAK 'IM FER CRUTCHY**!"

Mush knelt down to inspect the pile of rags.

Blink kicked it.

"Hey! Dontchya touch me!" A girls voice squealed. She was probably an inch from death, but she was going to be all right now. Blink and Mush were there.

Blink and Mush were astounded by the ravishing beauty this girl created. She had long flowing blond hair that shined like a halo around her beautiful face. Her skin was the color of coffee with too much cream and her eyes shown like beacons from a lighthouse. They had never seen anyone so beautiful before, not even their mothers. Well, they hadn't ever seen their mothers, because like all of the other Newsies, their mothers had gotten raped by their father, then killed by the Mafia. But she was beautiful. And her lips were the color of red roses, and they smelled like them too. Her scent was beautiful. Her toes, inside her shoes were beautiful.

Blink kicked her again.

"I was beaten by my mudder, raped by my sisters murderin' boyfriend, sold by my dad for money, impregnated by my cheatin', lyin' uncle and then my house burnt down after the Mafia of Street Urchins came afta mese money, that I have tons of because I am secretly the Dutchess of York."

Blink kicked her again.

"So, you wanna come live with us and the 30 odd guys that also live there? At the Newsboys lodging house?" Mush asked, giving doe eyes to her and her beautiful eyes that shown like beacons from a lighthouse.

"Sure!" the girl held Blinks hand as they walked down the street.

"Hey guys!" Kloppman said.

"Shud up, Kloppman! This is a goil and you're gonna let her stay here fer a coupla days, free of charge. Then Skittery will probably end up payin' her way," Blink explained when they charged into the Newsboys Lodging House.

"Or she'll be the best and only female newsie in New Yawk," Mush said.

"I'm gonna be da best and only female newsie. And Skittery is still payin' fer me!" The girl said to Kloppman.

"C'mon, meet the guys." Mush dragged her up the stairs.

"Hey guys!" Blink said, then he kicked the girl again.

"Heya Blink, Mush, who's the goil?" Specs asked. Race was playing a game of cards by himself on the floor.

"What's your name?" Mush asked the girl.

"Martha," She answered.

"Dis here is Pile of Rags," Blink motioned to the girl. "Wese found her in da street."

"So she's staying here," Mush explained.

"And wearin' my clothes," Blink said but Mush turned to him and glared.

"She's wearin' my clothes," Mush argued.

"No! Mine!"

"Mine!"

"I found 'er!"

"I gave 'er da Newsie name!"

"Guys! Guys! My name is Jack Kelly! She's gonna-"

"No- I'm the only one whose clothes will actually fit her remarkably small frame!"

"Spot, what da hell are you doing here?" Racetrack asked looking up from his game of 52 pickup.

"Givin' Pile of Rags here me clothes."

"I'm payin' fer her ta live here," Skittery told Race.

"I'll roll ya double or nothin' that I pay for her!" Race said to Skittery.

**"BUM ODDS!"** Blink yelled.

"Okay, listen!" Everyone looked at Pile of Rags and her gleaming blonde hair. "I will cook, clean and sell a billion papes a week. Skittery you will pay for me. And my slender, beautiful form will only fit into Spots clothes."

"Pile of Rags," Dutchy walked up to her. "I know I've only just met ya, but I love you!"

"Oh, Dutchy, I love you too!" She said as Blink kicked her.

"Will ya marry me?" Dutchy asked. "I know we have absolutely no money, but if Skittery is payin' for ya ta live here, and Kloppman is an idiot, we'll be okay."

"Oh, Dutchy, I've never felt so safe before."

"I'm payin' fer 'er," Skittery told Spot, who smacked him with his cane.

"God, I was waiting for those two to get together," Bumlets said tearfully.

"I know," Jack patted him on the back, then swatted his ass cheek. "It took em forever."

**"SOAK 'EM FER CRUTCHY!"** Blink yelled as he kicked Pile of Rags.

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(A/N) Do you see the thing that says (A/N) right there? It belongs at the **end** and the **beginning** of the story... not in the middle. If you have to explain something, then you aren't doing a good job as an author. And we (the reader) do not give a crap what you and your friends have as a inside joke. We aren't going to get it, and unless the story is for your friends eyes only, don't stick it in the freakin' story!

Every girl in New York City in 1899 wasn't beaten/raped/escaped death/runaway/drugged/impregnated by their mule... make up a new freakin' story line. Every story I have come across, the girl is/has been in grave peril and is saved by one of our many Newsie Heros.

If you watched the DVD or did some research before you ventured into the Fan Fiction world, you would've known that there were :shock: **GIRL NEWSIES**! Yes, you can even find pictures of them if you google images of newsies. So there cannot be an one and only girl newsie. It's just impossible.

Listen to your DVD/VHS a couple of more times. David did not have the accent until he sang "Editors desk for the star repoita!" In king of new york... not all of them spoke with the accent.

Think about this; These are Newsboys "I'm barely makin' a living as it is" Spoken by Shittery. How the hell can they afford to get married? Their girls are usually beaten/raped/ or something more or less horrible... how can they afford to get married? And it's usually a few weeks of meeting these girls in the first place that they decide that they want to marry them. And I can't even get through half of the story without the main character and the girl making out. Leave a little suspense, please. Think about when you meet someone new, are you jumping on them the instant that you meet them. Okay... maybe you do. I read Skittery Fics... if you watch the movie, he's a little shy. I highly doubt he'd just walk up to a girl and start raveging her as soon as he meets her.

Descriptions are nice. But we don't really care about hearing about her beauty every other time she's mentioned. And you don't have to dedicate a whole chapter to her hair.

And I know that Blink doesn't scream things out and kick girls... I just added that to make it more fun.

I think I'm done now. And please, if you do need a beta reader, I can help ya out.


End file.
